Most of the time your parents would say, “I’m doing this because I love you” or “I’m doing this for your own good.” This teaches you to associate abuse with care and concern. Hear me out: when you beat your child, you’re teaching them that abuse can coexist with love. Cue the chorus of people about to say: I got beat when I was younger and I turned out okay. This might sound like a stretch for many. Which brings me to the point of corporal punishment. For most of us, we learn how to love from those closest to us. “Being hurt by parenting adults rarely alters a child’s desire to love and be loved by them.”Īll About Love looks at all dimensions of love, including the family unit. This brings me to a slight segue of parental love because “love is as love does.” Love is as love doesĢ. Our search for affection tends to correlate to our desires and lacks, typically stemming from childhood. You choose to foster your own or someone else’s holistic wellbeing. Love seems like a haphazard feeling instead of an act of will. Finding our desired partner for us is a search instead of way of life. Like being with them will make us whole again. We desire someone else to come and make us feel safe. When we think about love, we tend to think about this earth shattering, mountain moving affection. One of the many moments I gasped while reading All About Love.
Isn’t that a slap in the face? When I read that, I gasped. Simply giving care does not mean we are loving.” As she says, “Care is a dimension of loving. You need to examine how best you can nurture and foster the well-beings of those you care about and yourself. Love is more than just affection or like. I prefer it much more than the current Google definition of “an intense feeling of deep affection.” I’m just gonna let y’all sit on that because whew. “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”.Let’s get into this definition of love she presents from Erich Fromm:.Here are a few lessons from Bell Hook’s All About Love: The Definition of Love In these times of revolution, protest and questioning of society, it’s time to decolonize your heart as you also decolonize your mind. All About Love explores how social systems like capitalism and patriarchy constructed and govern our ways of loving.
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